One of my guilty pleasures is tuning in for a few minutes of The Bachelor.
Wow! Good-looking women on the auction block. Is this progress, or what!
I understand why a shallow, self-absorbed man would sign up to be offered a harem of 30 nubile young women and an entire television season to go through them one by one (including sexually) ’till he decides which one he “loves.” But until I saw the Sports Illustrated photo shoot that featured the image to your left, I didn’t understand (naive Baby Boomer that I am!) why said nubile young women—who seem to all have jobs, families, homes, lives, even some level of education—would think that being humiliated weekly on national TV by a guy who’s into the harem thing would be a good way to find “love.”
So, as the proud veteran of a not-always-easy-but-always-honorable 38-year marriage, I vote that we all take on the following communications challenges:
1. Teach your children (and young friends) that “love” is an activity, not an auction prize
2. It wouldn’t hurt to mention that the most challenging part of the love activity is knowing, understanding and loving yourself
And finally (women learned this one to our pain in the 1960s, but apparently every generation needs to learn it anew),
3. Explain to your daughters that—even if, like the “Bachelor Ladies,” they aspire to careers as pin-ups or “reality” TV stars—when a man says, tell me what you’re really feeling, but actually means, make yourself completely vulnerable while giving me all the power in this relationship, what they need to communicate (even on national television) is, “Creep, get lost!”