
Lots of people struggle these days with how to:
- Keep up with FB, Twitter, blogs, newsletters, text, emails, phone calls;
- Allocate our time between those “channels”; and
- Handle the overlap between personal and business relationships.
Recently, though, I was reminded that “staying in touch” can mean something much more basic. This happened when my friend Loren and I went looking for our mutual friend Vinnie Johnson and found that he had died in his house.
Can Your Different Circles Find Each Other?
Vinnie’s sudden death from natural causes was a sadness, not a tragedy (he was 75, in poor health, and desperately missed his wife Patty, who died two years ago).
But it could have taken a more tragic turn, because we almost didn’t find his body.
A jazz and Broadway drummer (hear his powerhouse playing on this 1970s track by Stanton Davis and Ghetto Mysticism: 08 High Jazz), Vinnie had two communities: musician friends, and friends connected to his late wife.

Unfortunately, most of these people didn’t know each other. So when Vinnie missed a rehearsal and his work friends got worried, I was probably the only person who knew how to find the friend from Vinnie’s other circle who had his house keys.
What if I hadn’t been around?
More Important Than Your Status Update
This got me wondering:
- Could my neighbors reach my daughter?
- Could my husband locate my work friends?
- Could my best friend find my siblings?
Basically, the answers are all no.
If you live with a parent, or partner, or friend, you may have this area covered. But as more people live alone, and live longer, even people who have friends will be vulnerable to this type of disconnection.
I’m not going to end this post with tips, or claim that I know how to solve this problem.
But I will note one thing: I recently bought a spare key to my apartment and haven’t yet given to a neighbor.
That’s one thing that’s about to change.