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As a child, you may have been taught that it’s really rude to interrupt other people.

And sometimes it is.

But there are times when interrupting is necessary, or even kind—for example, when the other person is digging themselves into a verbal hole; or if everyone else has stopped listening to them.

How to Interrupt: What Not To Do

Two things that don’t work for interrupting are hesitating and being hesitant:

• Hesitating before you interrupt can cause you to miss the moment. That’s because the best time to interrupt someone else is when they’ve paused between ideas, or to take a breath. (This doesn’t work well in New York City, but use it in places where people actually pause between thoughts 🥴).
• And being hesitant or tentative in how you interrupt looks like you’re not really committed to doing it. This tells the other person that they can just ignore your attempted interruption and keep going.

How to Interrupt: What Works

Conversely, the two things that lead to successful interrupting are firmness and friendliness.

• Firmness shows that you mean what you’re doing:
  • Look your “target” in the eye
  • Speak a bit more loudly than they are
  • State your “entrance line” (see below) clearly and strongly
• And friendliness takes the sting out of it. A smile and a little warmth or sincerity tells the other person, “Yes, I’m interrupting you, but I’m not attacking you.”

Two Interrupting Enhancements

To make your interruption stronger and friendlier (yes, at the same time!),

1. Say the other person’s name (clearly, firmly, with a little smile); and
2. Move toward then physically (lean in, and/or make a “stop”-type hand gesture)

Both of these things close the distance between you and the person you’re interrupting, so that the interruption becomes an exchange that you’re having, not something you’re imposing on them from on high.

Which leaves just one problem…

What Do You Actually Say?

Your entrance line is what you say to wedge yourself into someone else’s verbal flow.

Your entrance line can be positive, neutral, or mildly negative (“But wait, what happens if…?”), and it should fit both your personality and the situation.

Possibilities include:

Elsie, I’m sorry to interrupt, but…

Gregory, can I jump in here and… [Note that this is not really a question :-)]

Jennifer, hang on a second!

Julian, let me just add something…

Again, what matters here is your delivery. If you’re confident, calm, and friendly (but insistent), the other person will yield.

The floor is now yours, so try to make the next thing you say count.